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What are all these less-than signs? What's an HREF? Look, we know you live in a fancy futuristic tech world, but not all of us have upgraded to the latest from Sun Microsystems.
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Cthulhux
237 days ago
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I need that "reply to HTML emails" checkbox.
Fledermausland
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1 public comment
alt_text_bot
237 days ago
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What are all these less-than signs? What's an HREF? Look, we know you live in a fancy futuristic tech world, but not all of us have upgraded to the latest from Sun Microsystems.

Helping His Girl AND The Environment

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(A male customer is wandering alone through my work. He appears to be a “tough guy” — he has long hair and obviously works out. He wanders around for a few minutes before stopping my coworker.)

Customer: “I’m looking for these for my wife. She says they have to be the same brand.”

(He reveals a piece of a tampon box without looking embarrassed or anxious.)

Coworker: “Sure, we have those. Let me show you.”

(She gets him the tampons and rings him up. He pays, grabs the box, and then WALKS OUT OF THE STORE with in it plain sight.)

Me: “Did that just happen?”

Coworker: “He said he didn’t need a bag.”

Me: “Wow.”

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Cthulhux
503 days ago
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I fail to see the problem here. But I'm socially awkward.
Fledermausland
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Me: I am going to need your Twitter address in order to set up your Twitter feed on your...

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Me: I am going to need your Twitter address in order to set up your Twitter feed on your website.

Client: www.twitter.com 

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Cthulhux
530 days ago
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Technically correct though.
Fledermausland
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Evangelism

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The wars between the "OTHER PRIMATES OPEN THEM FROM THE SMALL END" faction versus the "BUT THE LITTLE BIT OF BANANA AT THE SMALL END IS GROSS" faction consumed Europe for generations.
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Cthulhux
603 days ago
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Also, Emacs.
Fledermausland
Brstrk
603 days ago
I think you misspelled Vim. It's ok. We forgive you this time.
Cthulhux
603 days ago
You only need ten keys to master Vim: [Esc] [:] [q] [!] [e] [m] [a] [c] [s] [Enter]
firetech
603 days ago
You only need this command to master emacs: `alias emacs='vim'`
taddevries
603 days ago
Meanwhile nano users are in the corner eating glue
c_dave
602 days ago
Tasty tasty glue
tingham
602 days ago
Wow has it been 15 seconds in this conversation already? :)
sfrazer
602 days ago
I know just enough vi so that I can get networking working then I install nano because I've got better things to do with my day :-)
gglockner
600 days ago
About a month after starting to date the woman who became my wife, I asked her a religious question: emacs or vi. Needless to say, we have a mixed marriage.
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7 public comments
jprodgers
599 days ago
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I... Uh, wow, so I'm the 3 right most ones. Maybe I am intense...
Somerville, MA
lizamu
601 days ago
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Yes yes yes.
New York, New York
Covarr
602 days ago
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People who insist the eagles could have taken the ring to Mordor are pretty far to the right on this scale. They place badly on the "actually read The Lord of the Rings books" chart, though.
Moses Lake, WA
DaftDoki
603 days ago
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I identify with the rightmost two.
Seattle
Ferret
603 days ago
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Bananas from the other end is the clearly superior method!
alt_text_at_your_service
603 days ago
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The wars between the "OTHER PRIMATES OPEN THEM FROM THE SMALL END" faction versus the "BUT THE LITTLE BIT OF BANANA AT THE SMALL END IS GROSS" faction consumed Europe for generations.
steanne
602 days ago
one of these was useful, but why is there now a second bot doing the same thing?
wmorrell
602 days ago
Because the first bot was offline for some stretches of time. When the second bot arrived, the technical difficulties of the original were also resolved, and now there are two. For some reason, that makes a few people twitchy every third or so comic posting.
cosmotic
602 days ago
Just add a check if another bot commented. How do both bots not properly decode the html entities? As a software engineer, this situation of redundant bots that both malfunction and both being run by complicit lazy admins that don't care about users drives me nuts.
spongbeaux
601 days ago
Why not write your own, and fix the problems that the... ohhhh. https://xkcd.com/927/
cosmotic
601 days ago
;) Also, someone would need to kill the other bots.
WorldMaker
599 days ago
Or you know, don't have any bots at all? It's easy enough to open the page, add the 'm.' to the web address (m.xkcd.com) and get the officially built means to get the alt text in an accessible manner, and give Randall some well deserved ad eyeball traffic in the process. I liked it when people only posted the Alt Text if they had something to add to it. A bot just posting the alt text doesn't add anything interesting to the discussion.
wmorrell
599 days ago
Many people find the bot(s) useful. Just see the, “yay, it’s back!” replies from the previous times they broke. I am glad you have something that works for you. But it’s a mistake to confuse, “I do not find this interesting,” with, “no one finds this interesting,” or even, “no one should find this interesting.”
WorldMaker
598 days ago
I do not confuse any such thing. Perhaps you mistake my starting my opinion with "or" to offer an option for something other than an opinion? I'm happy to agree that mine might be the minority opinion, but that does not make my opinion invalid.
endlessmike
598 days ago
MORE BOTS FOR THE BOT GOD
wmorrell
598 days ago
ALT-TEXT FOR THE ALT-TEXT THRONE
alt_text_bot
603 days ago
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The wars between the "OTHER PRIMATES OPEN THEM FROM THE SMALL END" faction versus the "BUT THE LITTLE BIT OF BANANA AT THE SMALL END IS GROSS" faction consumed Europe for generations.

It’s Probably A Jennifer Lawrence Movie

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(In the heyday of the video rental industry, I work at one of the largest national chains. As a big-time film geek, I can often figure out what title an individual is seeking with only the most basic of information.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a movie, and that guy over there—” *points to coworker* “—says I should talk to you.”

Me: “Okay, maybe I can help. Is it a new release or an older film?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Did it come out recently, say, in the last year or two, or is it older?”

Customer: “Why does that matter?”

Me: “Well, that will give me some insight as to where it is in the store.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t know when it came out.”

Me: “Okay, can you tell me what it’s about?”

Customer: “Not really. It just looked good.”

Me: *trying a different tactic* “Do you know who’s in it?”

Customer: “It’s that girl. The one that’s in all those other movies.”

(I can feel my blood pressure rising.)

Me: “I’m afraid I’ll need a little more information than that. Do you know her name, or what other movies she’s been in?”

Customer: *shakes her head* “No. Your coworker said you could help me.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I’m trying, but you’re not giving me much to work with. Can you give me some idea as to what the movie is about?”

Customer: *groaning* “It’s about a girl who goes home.”

Me: *just taking a stab* “Is it Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael?”

Customer: *seemingly appalled* “No! I don’t even know what that is! Look. Are you going to help me or not? I’m looking for that movie. It’s about a girl who goes home!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but that could be any number of movies on our shelves.”

Customer: *shouting* “No, it couldn’t! It’s about a girl who goes home, and it’s got that girl who’s been in those other movies! You’re no help!”

(And with that, she stormed off.)

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Cthulhux
617 days ago
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Humans.
Fledermausland
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Reverse Cowgirl?

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facebook cowgirls - 7066515968

Maybe she shouldn't be so proud of being a cowgirl.. in the city...

Submitted by: Karl

Tagged: facebook , cowgirls
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Cthulhux
667 days ago
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A good whisky lasts longer though.
Fledermausland
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